That said, I fully concur with your speculations. You do mention how we, among the highly educated and relatively wealthy, can distract ourselves with hobbies and puttering at things we enjoy; you don't explicitly mention it, but philosophers (Pascal comes to mind) have long pointed out how we can use entertainment to avoid or cover up deep existential questions. And 24/7 entertainment is available now to an extent never before possible--particularly to the wealthy--making it oh, so very easy to fill our minds and hearts with fluff, on occasion even challenging fluff, but fluff nonetheless.
Your essay underscores for me the fact that, well into my retirement years, I'm financially comfortable enough that I have little need to call for help from others. If the time comes--as well it might--when health has deteriorated to the point where I require full-time help beyond what spouse or family can give, I would expect to be able to afford it.
But that brings up another loneliness-related topic of currency: physician assisted suicide. Ewan Goligher, a Canadian physician, in "How Should We Then Die? A Christian Response to Physician-Assisted Death," describes how loneliness, maybe even more than failing health, is a major condition of many who choose that way to end their lives.
Christians have the opportunity to do something about the loneliness epidemic, and its many downstream consequences. We need to begin in our churches and our neighborhoods.
Great insights here. I think what's interesting to me is that the kinds of diversions that Pascal has in mind are now readily available for those in lower socioeconomic status as well. Smartphones with endless (vapid) "entertainment" are relatively cheap. But I do think that there are high quality, engrossing forms of diversions that the wealthy and well educated can afford that are difficult for the poor to access. And I suspect this split will only grow with the growth of AI and VR.
It seems like this couldn’t just be monocausal. For example, based on anecdotal experience, I would guess there might be more lonely women with graduate degrees in conservative Christian culture than men in the same environment. Or I would guess someone with a graduate degree in a rural small town might experience more loneliness than a graduate degree holder in NYC. If your wealth or education (or lack of either) is more apt to make you an outcast or not relatable, then it might contribute to loneliness in a way the survey results don’t represent.
Thank you Alan, as always I love the unpacking, questions, and thinking you bring to us.
I certainly resonate with this and it is a frequent topic of discussion with my wife as we are both highly educated and wealthy yet find it very hard to find and build friendships that aren’t just fun or utility. It could be me… lol 😂. I would call most of my “friendships” shallow or hollow with the exception of a few given by Grace that have true depth, messiness, and soulful connection. But wealth and education on my part had been a buffer and blocker on my side for sure as I idolized autonomy for many years. I say all that to say; as I was a slave to my rich/successful achieved autonomy I became apathetic to even my need for deep friendship. I am thankful God is removing this from my life, but dang it felt insular and gross for a while. Somewhere along the way friendship needed to be redefined, defeat to my life’s technique needed to be admitted, and the money mask needed to be thrown out.
I am going to end my rambling, I haven’t even touched on the poor and uneducated, but your encouragement and conviction to embrace and love deeply sits well on my heart.
No comments yet! I'm surprised.
That said, I fully concur with your speculations. You do mention how we, among the highly educated and relatively wealthy, can distract ourselves with hobbies and puttering at things we enjoy; you don't explicitly mention it, but philosophers (Pascal comes to mind) have long pointed out how we can use entertainment to avoid or cover up deep existential questions. And 24/7 entertainment is available now to an extent never before possible--particularly to the wealthy--making it oh, so very easy to fill our minds and hearts with fluff, on occasion even challenging fluff, but fluff nonetheless.
Your essay underscores for me the fact that, well into my retirement years, I'm financially comfortable enough that I have little need to call for help from others. If the time comes--as well it might--when health has deteriorated to the point where I require full-time help beyond what spouse or family can give, I would expect to be able to afford it.
But that brings up another loneliness-related topic of currency: physician assisted suicide. Ewan Goligher, a Canadian physician, in "How Should We Then Die? A Christian Response to Physician-Assisted Death," describes how loneliness, maybe even more than failing health, is a major condition of many who choose that way to end their lives.
Christians have the opportunity to do something about the loneliness epidemic, and its many downstream consequences. We need to begin in our churches and our neighborhoods.
Amen!
Great insights here. I think what's interesting to me is that the kinds of diversions that Pascal has in mind are now readily available for those in lower socioeconomic status as well. Smartphones with endless (vapid) "entertainment" are relatively cheap. But I do think that there are high quality, engrossing forms of diversions that the wealthy and well educated can afford that are difficult for the poor to access. And I suspect this split will only grow with the growth of AI and VR.
Thank you for this excellent comment!
It seems like this couldn’t just be monocausal. For example, based on anecdotal experience, I would guess there might be more lonely women with graduate degrees in conservative Christian culture than men in the same environment. Or I would guess someone with a graduate degree in a rural small town might experience more loneliness than a graduate degree holder in NYC. If your wealth or education (or lack of either) is more apt to make you an outcast or not relatable, then it might contribute to loneliness in a way the survey results don’t represent.
Thank you Alan, as always I love the unpacking, questions, and thinking you bring to us.
I certainly resonate with this and it is a frequent topic of discussion with my wife as we are both highly educated and wealthy yet find it very hard to find and build friendships that aren’t just fun or utility. It could be me… lol 😂. I would call most of my “friendships” shallow or hollow with the exception of a few given by Grace that have true depth, messiness, and soulful connection. But wealth and education on my part had been a buffer and blocker on my side for sure as I idolized autonomy for many years. I say all that to say; as I was a slave to my rich/successful achieved autonomy I became apathetic to even my need for deep friendship. I am thankful God is removing this from my life, but dang it felt insular and gross for a while. Somewhere along the way friendship needed to be redefined, defeat to my life’s technique needed to be admitted, and the money mask needed to be thrown out.
I am going to end my rambling, I haven’t even touched on the poor and uneducated, but your encouragement and conviction to embrace and love deeply sits well on my heart.