The Rise of the Resigned

What social science can tell us about those dropping out of social life

Photo by Nik Shuliahin 💛💙 on Unsplash

In You Are Not Your Own, I describe two primary ways of responding to a fundamental inhuman world. The first group is the Affirming, who accept that they are their own and believe that with just enough hard work and determination they can manage to bear the burden of being responsible for their own existence. The second group I call the Resigned. These people look at the impossibility of bearing the weight of their own existence, so they give up. Here’s how I describe them in You Are Not Your Own:

When a young person stops coming to class, binge watches Friends for 36 hours, and can’t seem to get out of bed, it’s almost always the case that the student cares too much, not too little. They don’t choose to tap out of life because they think winning is meaningless. They tap out because they are taught that winning means everything and they cannot envision any path to winning.

If you live in a hyper-competitive society where you know you cannot possibly compete against those with biological or economic advantages, why bother playing the game? Don’t we call it the definition of insanity to do the same thing over and over and expect different results? In such a situation, opting out is quite rational and efficient.

Rather than failing to accept responsibility, the resigned have reasonably concluded that the best way for them to accept their Responsibilities of Self-belonging is to find an alternative space to pursue existential justification. If I cannot compete in graduate school, I might be able to compete in a video game. If I cannot win the love of a desired spouse, I can find a sense of belonging in porn or romance stories.

Recently, social scientist Ryan Burge wrote a substack article describing a group he calls the “drop outs.”