The Freedom of Being Seen by Christ
On the Samaritan woman and the tension between being known and being exposed
Like most people, I long for friends who will know me well and I’m afraid of being known well. I know it’s good for me to be “authentic” and “real” and to share my deep struggles with trusted, wise friends, but I also know that there are inward parts of my life and my past that are unflattering, messy, and disgraceful. Things I’m ashamed of. This is true of all of us. As fallen people dragged through a fallen world, we will accumulate experiences that are shameful, sometimes legitimately shameful, sometimes illegitimately (as in the case when you wrongly feel shame for when someone does something terrible to you which you could not have prevented). Many contemporary people try to relieve this tension between the desire to be known and the fear of being known by turning to the hermetically sealed offices of the therapist. And if you are familiar with my writing, you know I am a strong advocate for professional mental health services. Yet I do wonder if that is really what we are looking for. Certainly it can be a good to speak to a qualified therapist about your experiences, to speak aloud the things you are ashamed to speak aloud so that someone knows what you have gone through. I likewise think it is a good to have close friendships where you are able to trust someone enough to speak those words aloud and trust them with your story, no matter how heavy, shameful, and ugly it might seem to be. But it seems to me that the Good is being seen by Jesus. That may sound shocking, because the one Being you want to avoid exposing your shame to is the Judge of all the cosmos! But as we see in the story of the Samaritan woman at the well, to be seen by Christ, no matter how exposing it might be, is always an unburdening and a source of freedom.
In John chapter 4, Jesus speaks to the Samaritan woman at the well, first asking her for a drink of water and then revealing to her the fact that she has not just one husband but five, and the man she is currently with is not even her husband! When the woman goes to town to tell the other Samaritans about Jesus, she proclaims, “Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?” (John 4:29). In their exchange, Jesus promised to be the water of life and the Messiah; he claimed that the argument between Jews and Samaritans over where to worship was over because real worshipers worship in “spirit and in truth” (23). He made all sorts of profound theological claims worth reporting, but the one thing that stuck with the Samaritan was the fact that he saw her completely.
And what always fascinates me about this passage is that the Samaritan does not run away from Jesus immediately in terror when he exposes her. Instead, she says, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet” (19). Does she just not understand that she is standing before Christ? Hebrews 10:31 teaches that “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God”! Why isn’t she afraid? is she just ignorant about who Christ is?
I don’t think her ignorance is why she is at peace here; after all, when she goes to the town to share the good news, she already suspects he is the Christ. No, I think she does not feel terror when he exposes her sin because it is in the nature of Christ seeing us completely that we feel unburdened and known and freed. The Samaritan is excited! She is glad that Christ has seen her completely. And so it is with us.
Whatever shameful, dark, sinful, heavy, messy, confusing things we’ve done or have been done to us in the past or which we are currently wrestling with, we can bring them to Christ because he already has seen them. Come, see a man who told you everything you ever did! And he loves you!
This doesn’t mean there is no room for contrition or restitution in the life of the Christian. Some of our past and current actions need to be repented of, and it’s appropriate to feel contrite, so long as it doesn’t slip into worldly sorrow (2 Corinthians 7:10). Worldly sorrow is when we refuse God’s grace for us, denying the cross, and choosing shame and self-condemnation over Christ’s forgiveness. Often worldly sorrow looks like viewing yourself as fundamentally damned, as opposed to fundamentally redeemed and a child of God. Godly sorrow is when we grieve that we have sinned against God and/or others, but we rejoice in Christ’s forgiveness. As for restitution, some of our actions will have consequences in this life that must be dealt with by apologizing to people and righting wrongs.
Many of the things we are ashamed or afraid to speak aloud are not matters of our sin, but of mistakes or things done to us. Traumas, experiences, childhood memories—we carry a lot with us.
But like the Samaritan woman, we are free to be seen by Christ and unburden ourselves before him because he has already seen all that we have ever done and all that has ever been done to us and he loves us. He desires us to repent and mature in holiness. We never have to be ashamed or afraid of bringing our problems before him. We stand revealed before an all-knowing God who has also died for us because he first loved us. Perfect love and perfect knowing meet in Christ. And so the desire to be known and the fear of being known no longer need to be held in tension for the Christian. It’s resolved in the deity of Christ.
And I think it’s because we are seen by Christ and unburdened by him that we are able to be seen by others as well. The freedom we have in Christ of him knowing us and knowing our secret heart allows us to prudently choose close friends to share those secrets with, especially in the church, for purposes of discipleship and growth. As I said earlier, this is not the ultimate good, but it is a good. Once that barrier of silence has been broken before God, it’s easier to break it before other, trusted, people. Of course, not everything needs to be shared. I’m not advocating that you expose all of your inner thought-life. But most of us have things we would benefit from sharing with others. And that starts with being honest before God.
On a different note:
Read a new article from me at Christianity Today on encouraging young people to get married and have children.
Great article. I cannot help but seem connections between the Samaritan woman in John 4 and the woman with the hemorrhage in Mark 5. It appears that there is an intentional and gracious exposure of this woman after she had sought Jesus for healing. The note of grace is proclaimed when Jesus speaks "daughter, your faith has healed you." She is physically healed of course, but she is seen by Christ. Keep up the good work brother.
Love this. The God who sees me.