The Charlie Brown Condition

On feeling bad during the holidays when you know you should feel good

Photo by Cho Kyungmin on Unsplash

I have a problem with feeling the wrong things at the wrong times. Send me to DisneyWorld and I’m anxious. Throw a birthday party for me, and I’m overwhelmed. Christmas comes, and I’m so busy trying to feel like it’s Christmas that I end up not enjoying Christmas. I’m too much in my head, in other words. Like Charlie Brown says to Linus in the classic Christmas Special, “I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I’m not happy. I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel.” The irony in Charlie Brown saying this is that he’s not a Grinch. He loves Christmas and desires to enjoy it. He just can’t get in the feeling. I get that, whether it’s Christmas or Thanksgiving or New Year. I don’t think I’m alone in this.

There are a variety of reasons why people struggle to get into the “holiday spirit” or to generally feel the way society or occasions expect them to feel. The loss of loved ones, broken hearts, job losses, poor health, seasonal depression—all legitimate reasons. But I also think there is something beneath these circumstantial causes—a fear of letting go, a fear of things going poorly, a fear of leisure. Which fundamentally amounts to trust in God that he is sovereign and we are called to feast and celebrate times of remembering God’s promises and faithfulness to us.