Love this post, and I think there's an additional application to the way we as parents approach our kids' activities, particularly youth sports. At their core, sports = play, and the excessive professionalism and pressure can easily squeeze the "play" out of them. If baseball, volleyball, dance...whatever doesn't feel fun to the child, doesn't feel like play, but feels like their job or a chore, get them out or start modeling play for them as it relates to the sport. Lower your voice, lower your expectations, cut back the frequency, and just. play.
Part of this is it just feels unnatural to me and always has. I have been thrilled as my 8 year old has started becoming more curious about the world and reading in a more mature way. But she and my 4 year old both still need so much more than an eggheaded dad.
I also have had to make it a constant exercise to not make (even minor or good-natured) lecturing or criticism the first things they hear from me in the morning or when they get home. Only when I made the resolution did I realize how much it was actually happening!
I love the clarity statement of, "Of course this doesn’t mean that a father has no responsibility to provide for his family, it just means that in addition to that responsibility...." I read that first part and I am instantly paralyzed by the concept of "balance." So I know I need to be playful, my kids need it and my wife loves seeing it happen AND at the same time the pressure of efficient performance and mastering metrics is yelling at me while I am playing. So how can we do this? And then you go on ".....he has the freedom and right to rest in God’s providential hand and delight in God’s creational gifts." Amen! So many of the guys I know in my context of NYC suburb, commuting to the city for work, I pray come to realize and being to practice playfulness with their families. Wonderful article Alan, totally one I can see being part of a men's retreat talk/program, which then has me thinking about the guys I care for in leading Men's Ministry at our church and a future retreat of sorts for us.
From this new dad, thank you!
Love this post, and I think there's an additional application to the way we as parents approach our kids' activities, particularly youth sports. At their core, sports = play, and the excessive professionalism and pressure can easily squeeze the "play" out of them. If baseball, volleyball, dance...whatever doesn't feel fun to the child, doesn't feel like play, but feels like their job or a chore, get them out or start modeling play for them as it relates to the sport. Lower your voice, lower your expectations, cut back the frequency, and just. play.
Incredible piece and something I needed to hear.
Part of this is it just feels unnatural to me and always has. I have been thrilled as my 8 year old has started becoming more curious about the world and reading in a more mature way. But she and my 4 year old both still need so much more than an eggheaded dad.
I also have had to make it a constant exercise to not make (even minor or good-natured) lecturing or criticism the first things they hear from me in the morning or when they get home. Only when I made the resolution did I realize how much it was actually happening!
I love the clarity statement of, "Of course this doesn’t mean that a father has no responsibility to provide for his family, it just means that in addition to that responsibility...." I read that first part and I am instantly paralyzed by the concept of "balance." So I know I need to be playful, my kids need it and my wife loves seeing it happen AND at the same time the pressure of efficient performance and mastering metrics is yelling at me while I am playing. So how can we do this? And then you go on ".....he has the freedom and right to rest in God’s providential hand and delight in God’s creational gifts." Amen! So many of the guys I know in my context of NYC suburb, commuting to the city for work, I pray come to realize and being to practice playfulness with their families. Wonderful article Alan, totally one I can see being part of a men's retreat talk/program, which then has me thinking about the guys I care for in leading Men's Ministry at our church and a future retreat of sorts for us.